From Desperation to Hope: One Patient’s Journey with Ketamine Therapy

For decades, he lived with a hidden weight – crippling anxiety, relentless depression, and a constant sense of emptiness
that no one could see. Traditional treatments failed him time and time again. But when he discovered ketamine therapy at Keta Medical Center, everything changed. He
has agreed to share his story, in his own words, in the hope that it will help others to find healing.

Trigger Warning: This post discusses suicidal ideation. Please take care while reading, and reach out for support
if you need it.

My Story – How, After Decades of Being Stuck in the Starting Gate, Keta Medical Center (KetaMC) Helped Me Reach My
Goals

I had my first anxiety attack when I was in first grade (not that anyone considered anxiety an issue for an apparently
well-functioning 5-year-old in 1964) and have suffered that constant pang in my gut for my entire life.


But I pushed through and did all the things that were expected of me – HS, college, law school, marriage, children (and,
more recently, grandchildren), a moderately successful 40-year career as a trial attorney, appointments to charitable
advisory boards and boards of governors, American Inns of Court, President of my golf club, membership in Mensa,
10-Best-Attorneys Awards, invitations to write for professional publications and e-zines … the list goes on. How could
I possibly be unhappy – wasn’t my life going great?

Nevertheless, anxiety and the resultant self-doubt were my constant, unwelcome companions. About halfway through my
career (call it 20 years ago), I realized that every little thing, no matter how meaningless, bothered me
disproportionately and seemingly nothing made me happy. I knew something wasn’t right.


I had it all – a loving wife, two fantastic sons, a nice home in the ‘burbs, personal and professional respect from my
peers, employees, partners, even the Judiciary – but I was miserable ALL the time. I tried talk therapy, Xanax, Zoloft …
but nothing helped, so I just ‘manned up’ [my apologies to anyone who finds offense at that term, but I honestly don’t
know a better way to express the thought – if you do, please put an appropriate gender-neutral term here and assume
that’s what I wanted to say] and continued to slog through my life of ‘quiet desperation’.

Unsurprisingly, several years later I was officially diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) but, again, my
psychiatrist/psychopharmacologist and I tried just about every tricyclic, SSRI, and SNRI on the market, with and without
supplements, anti-anxiolytics 3 times a day, even meditation (sadly, my head was far too ‘noisy’ for that to be
effective during this dark period of time).

Mainstream Medications – Utter Failure

Nothing worked.

Indeed, most of the medications made things worse. We did genetic testing in an attempt to determine why I was so
resistant to the commonly accepted treatments, to no avail. With the ongoing lack of success, my depression only
escalated – for more than a decade of my life, notwithstanding my apparently ‘wonderful life’, I fantasized every
morning about driving my car into an overpass on the parkway at 100 mph on the way to work, and went to bed every night
secretly hoping that I’d be ‘lucky’ enough to fall asleep and not wake up.

It’s not that I wanted to die, but I couldn’t bear the thought of living with the constant mental anguish for the rest
of my life – and that alarming thought dominated my existence. I had no interest in doing anything, nothing gave me
pleasure, and the psychological pain was relentless. Even playing golf or playing gigs with my cover band (music and
golf are my great passions) had somehow become stressful chores that I dreaded instead of providing the ‘escape’ for
which such things are intended.


To put it mildly: Despite all outward appearances, my inner life was not going well, and I became, in a word, desperate.

Keta Medical Center – Where Desperation Becomes Hope

As a last resort, my doctor suggested ECT. There
was no way that was happening, so I began to do my own research. I read several articles in the news and professional
journals as well as several medical research papers about growing interest and success using psychedelics in the
treatment of anxiety, depression and related conditions. Having gone to college in the late-70’s, I had no problem with
the idea of using psychedelics, but being an attorney (now retired), I had obvious misgivings about the legal status of
psilocybin and LSD.

Then I read somewhere that the FDA had approved
Spravato (the nasal spray form of Ketamine delivery) for the treatment of TRD (Treatment Resistant Depression),
among many other things. At first, I resisted the idea of using Ketamine, but after weighing the options, I decided to
give it a try. My expectations were low, but I had nothing to lose.


I discussed it with my psychiatrist, who initially was reluctant to give me his ‘blessing’ (this treatment may not yet
be ‘mainstream’ but, mark my words, it will be), and he acknowledged that he had another patient who, like me, is what
he terms a ‘ruminator’ (which I take to mean that the constant stream of chatter in my head never shuts off and, in my
case at least, never says anything helpful or nice) who was getting good results with IV Ketamine Infusions, so my
doctor relented. My research satisfied me that KetaMC seemed like a good place for me to do this, so I made the call.

From first contact, I knew that I had made the correct decision. Within 48 hours after speaking with the extraordinarily
pleasant intake person, who confirmed the same day that the treatments were covered by my health insurance (Medicare), I
had appointments to speak separately with both a doctor AND a therapist, and they were each eager and happy to address
all my questions and concerns (and I had many). They had already started to give me hope, even before the treatments
began.


I began treatment in early March 2025, and by the third session I was already feeling the clouds begin to part. I’m
certain everyone’s experience is unique, but for me each Ketamine session ‘shakes the snow globe’ just enough to create
a space in which I could begin to learn how take control of and eventually banish those evil, amorphous dark thoughts
that had been haranguing me every second of every day (they call it ‘neuroplasticity’ – I call it Magic)!

Each and every time I arrive at KetaMC (I go to the midtown Manhattan space because it is convenient, but they have
many), I am greeted with a joyful smile and made to feel like a celebrity walking down the red carpet – by the doctors,
nurses and staff alike – and I’ve done nothing to deserve such treatment, it’s just the way they are (with a very
special and heartfelt shoutout to Mary, a true shining light whose deep, abiding kindness is pervasive, making every
visit a joy – just imagine looking forward to a trip to a doctors’ office with happiness in place of trepidation)!


And it’s not just the medication; I speak weekly (via Google Meet) with Stacey, an onboard therapist, about whom I
cannot say enough good things – she is smart, capable, compassionate, quick-witted and extremely generous, both with her
time and, most importantly, with her infectious love of life. That Stacey genuinely cares for her patients would be the
understatement of the year. She helps me put things in proper perspective, understand the source of my feelings (both
good and bad), and talks with me about relevant (and irrelevant) music, movies, books and philosophy, because she can
sense that those are the things that work FOR ME. She even laughs at my old man jokes (well, sometimes – my sense of
humor can be a little oblique ;0).

Astonishing, Tangible Results

Working with Stacey, and given the all-important ‘neuroplasticity’ provided by the Ketamine, we’ve achieved in 10 or 12
weeks what my psychopharmacologist and I could not achieve in over a decade, and what some may never manage in a
lifetime. As I understand it, KAP (Ketamine Assisted
Psychotherapy) is not a formal requirement, but in my opinion it should be.


As I write this, ~ treatment #16, my symptoms have literally vanished. My ‘score’ on the PHQ9 depression scale has gone
from a generous yet still moderately severe 19 down to ZERO! I am enjoying my life, getting out on the golf course with
my buds, playing music and singing again with one of my old bandmates AND with one of my old college friends, rekindling
friendships that have been dormant for years, and spending as much time as I can showering love on my two beautiful
grandchildren – plus, my wife and I haven’t gotten along this well in 25 years!

This is not a subtle change, either – the catharsis is both stunning and undeniable.


EVERYONE, from my children to my friends to my dentist, has commented on how content and peaceful I seem to be of late.
Of course, they all think it’s because retirement is wearing well on me (I formally retired and closed my practice in
2024 – and I must admit, I also believed that was going to do it, but no such luck) – none of them, other than my wife
and a very few select, trusted friends, know of my work with KetaMC.


Based on my astonishing (to me and to him) progress, even my once reluctant psychopharmacologist has promised me that he
has put Ketamine treatment at KetaMC in his medical quiver so he can recommend it to other patients he believes would
benefit from it.

Make the Call – You Have Nothing to Fear and Nothing to Lose (Except Your Depression and Anxiety)

If anyone still reading continues to harbor any doubts, dispel them. Based upon my experience, related only briefly
above, Ketamine is not anywhere near as ‘scary’ as it may sound (at least it did to me, at first), and it is not
dangerous when administered under the controlled conditions at KetaMC, closely supervised by a team of MD’s and RN’s.
Rather, it is an intense but pleasant experience and, practically from the first dose, it will help you to start
cleansing your mind of all that unwanted, anxiety-inducing clutter and you will start sensing a feeling of hope and
peace.


I have written this entirely voluntarily, in the hope that it will resonate with someone and that they will be motivated
to make the phone call and get the help they need – the help they deserve. Take comfort in the knowledge that there IS a
solution that works. All you need to do is call and make the appointment – from that point forward, the doctors, nurses
and staff at KetaMC will take care of you like a VIP, and your quality of life will skyrocket.


Stop your suffering – make the call!!

Note from the Patient

NB: I have requested that my name be withheld from this writing for my own professional reasons – I wish it could be
otherwise. I assure you that all I have said is true, that I have no financial interest in KetaMC or any part of it, and
I am not being compensated for this testimonial in any way. I am a real patient who has gotten (and continues to get)
real results.


— N.